Back in April, I started a mini-series on the blog highlighting Three Simple Rules for the Best Wedding Ever. Part One was the 2 Week Rule: Make a timeline for your planning that ends 2 WEEKS before your wedding. And stick to it. A couple of weeks ago I gave you Part Two: Focus on how you want your wedding to feel, not how you want it to look.Check out Part One and Two, and meet me back here! The final rule for planning the Best Wedding Ever is PART THREE:
Make a pact to stay by each other's side all night long.
This one is the simplest of the three rules, but possibly the most important. In keeping with my Parts One and Two, here are a few points to focus on:
1. Why? Well, this is an easy one. It's your wedding! The two of you! The room will be full of all your favorite people in the world, but you just chose to marry each other and this day is all about your love. You worked together for months planning this day, and you deserve to bask in the glory of that together; to share the day with the other person that it's all about. One of my close friends gave me this advice before my wedding, and it is the single best piece of advice I can pass on.
2. It's more difficult than you think! Staying by your new spouse's side may sound like a no-brainer, but it's actually a challenge to stay on each other's hip all night. Just think -- you are the center of attention, everyone in the room wants to talk to you, dance with you, take a picture with you, and make sure you have a drink in your hand. If you're standing next to each other and two people come up to you at the same time and split you apart, it's very easy to get pulled into the crowd, onto the dance floor, and all of sudden lose track of each other. It can be a challenge to make it back across the room without seeing someone you haven't seen yet, or getting pulled into another photo with friends, so it's not always easy to get back to each others' sides. Before you know it, a precious hour has gone by without a kiss! If you agree before the wedding starts that "where you go, I go" you will avoid long stretches apart.
3. If you follow some traditions, you haven't seen much of each other before the wedding. In many cases, couples spend the last few days before the wedding participating in guys-only/girls-only events and appointments. Many couples see each other at the rehearsal and dinner the night before and then stay apart until they have a first look or walk down the aisle. So you might actually feel like you miss each other by the time the wedding starts! Don't forget--you are each other's date! Treat it like a date to the best party you've ever been to, and it feels much more natural to stay together all night.
4. Take a moment alone. You've probably heard it before, but time flies by so quickly on your wedding day. You've thought about the details of the day for months, you've practiced your vows and your dancing for weeks, and now it's here. Take a few minutes at some point in the evening to step outside, just the two of you, and have a moment to soak it all in. It's worth a few minutes of the night to have some privacy away from your families and the cameras and just be.
5. Greet people together. It's a challenge, but make sure you say hello and thank you to all the guests at your wedding. The best way to do this is together. Some of the guests from your spouse's family you may be meeting for the first time, and you don't want to have to introduce yourself at your own wedding. People are there to see the two of you, and they love to see the bride and groom together, take a photo and congratulate you.
6. Don't do the cigar thing. This one might be a battle you don't want to have, but please hear me out. I've been to many, many weddings where at some point in the evening, whether formal or casual, there are cigars offered outside. Typically, the groom and a large group of guys head outside and gather for a cigar. Sounds like a fun celebratory tradition, right? Well, guess what happens inside? The party dies. All of a sudden, you're missing 25 men from the dance floor, and it feels like the party is over. And the worst part? It lasts at least 30 minutes! I could go on and on about how I think this is the biggest party-killer out there, but I am listing it here because it also means, unless the couple is both having a cigar, you are apart for 30 minutes or more and (he) comes back smelling like an ashtray. I politely told my husband I really didn't want to do the whole cigar thing at our wedding, and he agreed. The dance floor was packed all night, and as far as I know, no one missed the smoke break.
Obviously there will be moments you will have to step away from one another (ahem, bathroom break) but if you both have it in your heads from the start that you are going to try to be together for the entire night, it will happen for the most part. I have worked with couples who have said their biggest regret from their wedding was that they felt like they barely saw their new spouse. On the other hand, the couples I have met who have followed this simple rule (myself included) were so grateful for the advice. Every memory I have from our wedding night includes my new husband standing or sitting right next to me, and that's a beautiful thing.
So, what do you think of my Three Rules? Try following them yourself and let me know how it worked for you! I sincerely believe these are simple, straightforward ways to make your wedding awesome and completely enjoyable for you and your guests. Good luck and happy planning!